By: Donna M.
The word "OUCH" expresses sudden hurt or pain by what someone says or does to us or our child with S.U.D.
When dealing with our children's Substance Use Disorder, family, siblings, friends and business associates say some mean and hurtful things. When people are hurtful to us, it feels like we're dying on the inside while trying to act like we don't care on the outside.
When we and our children are working on navigating through their active addiction or recovery, our family and friends often have a lot of unsolicited advice to share with us and our child.
We all have different values and principles, so when we come together for a family dinner, holiday or a phone call, there’s bound to be someone who makes a snide comment to express their feelings, thoughts or disapproval.
When someone says something hurtful to you, simply say OUCH!, if it's a phone conversation say "Ouch, this conversation doesn't feel good, know that I love you but I'm hanging up now", if the person attempts to engage you, simply say, "I'm going to hang up now, I want you to understand that I am not hanging up on you because I love you, but because this conversation doesn't feel good, I must say bye/goodnight". Don't be surprised if the person doesn't call you right back or after they've digested what happened. If you are at someone's home or your home, simply say “this conversation doesn't feel good so I am going to leave now, know that I love you but I have to go take care of myself". When you keep it simple and keep your cool, the other person/people have nowhere to go with it,
Don’t let hurtful words of others take control of your mind. Your mind is your mind, so control your thoughts and cheers yourself up.
A lot of times people’s words hurt us because we did not do a thing about it, you didn't stand for yourself. You may justify to yourself that you didn’t want to cause trouble or it just isn’t worth engaging in negativity, but what you may not realize is that you’re simply repressing yourself. When you’re repressed, you feel a void and when you feel a void, you feel hurt.
I learned late in life that we teach people how to treat us, so take a stand and say "OUCH" when someone hurts you.