By: Donna M.
Many parents have dealt with the ups and downs of their child’s active addiction along with the revolving door of in an out of treatment facilities and hospitals. When a child is in early recovery parents often have a hard time detaching in order to begin their own recovery. It takes time for parents to stabilize their emotions while they still tend to have expectations that they don’t say out loud. In early recovery their child’s abstinence may be the new normal but that doesn’t take away the parents underlying fear of relapse, tension and anxiety that they are feeling.
Rebuilding trust between you and your child will take time. Your child won’t initially understand why you don’t trust him/her; therefore it is important to sit down to have a calm conversation. Explain to your child that when he/she is successful in demonstrating that he/she can be responsible and reliable, you will begin to trust again, it’s just that simple!
Give your child examples that will help you to re-build their trust:
· Show up on time
· Stop borrowing money
· Call if you’re going to be late
· Open a bank account and start saving
· Follow through on your commitments
This process will take time and energy from both of you.
The longer your child is abstinent and working his/her recovery, the probability of relapse will lessen and you and your child will begin to re-build your relationship.