The Toxic Dance

by:  Donna M.

The Toxic Dance is simply a relationship that entangles negative patterns and cycles that involve control, selfishness, manipulation, and more. The Toxic Dance is toxicity intertwined between two people trying to have a relationship.

Engaging in our loved ones addiction/alcoholism often creates drama and crisis in our own lives, because when we participate in the drama, chaos and negative behavior, very often our lives also become unmanageable and out of control too. Toxic relationships are those that are negatively-focused, complaint-packed dialogues that are used to sustain self-sabotage. Participating in the Toxic Dance is another form of enabling which is the process that family members, partners, parents, children or friends, “enables” a person with a substance use disorder to continue to self- medicate with drugs and or alcohol; by failing to set healthy boundaries, by failing to recognize the problem and participating in or with bad behavior.

Common characteristics that you are participating in the Toxic Dance are when you always feel bad or sad, you are unhappy with your child and your child isn’t happy with you either. There is emotional, physical and verbal abuse. You are attempting to control your child’s active addiction and the outcome of it. You and your child attempt to manipulate each other to get what you want.

In order to move away from the toxicity of your relationship, first you have to realize that you are in a toxic relationship and own your part. Once you can accept your part and where you are at in your life, you can take a step forward in a positive direction.

Donna MarstonComment