A New Year for a New You !
By: Donna M.
At the beginning of every new year, people often make New Year’s resolution that is a commitment about how they will move forward making positive changes for themselves in the new year.
Typically a New Year's resolutions is making a lifestyle change or a promise to yourself about taking better care of yourself, losing weight, etc., but in our world of S.U.D. our resolutions are typically about how to stop enabling, not to be so codependent, learning better coping skills to let go with love of a teen or adult child with S.U.D. who is in active addiction or recovery.
A New Years resolution is about bringing manageable and positive changes into your life. It’s about figuring out feel good solutions to problems that don’t feel so good to you.
As you move forward into the New Year, think of your transition as though you are finishing a book about codependency that you have been reading for a long time, its part of a series of books and you’re finally ready for the next part of the series. You’re closing that book and putting it away forever.
Recognizing codependent behavior is the first step to controlling it. Many co-dependent parents are naturally people pleasers who are often the Chief Enabler in the relationship. Many codependent parents feel like they are in control and when change happens, there is a feeling that they are losing control which brings them feelings of uncertainty, which is a tough emotion to deal with especially after years dealing with the chaos and trauma associated with their child’s S.U.D. (substance use disorder)
Letting go of codependent behaviors can be frightening and uncomfortable as each person tests the boundaries of their own abilities. You and your child are no longer acting as reflections of each other. In order to move forward with a healthier happier version of yourself, face your feelings of uncertainty so that you can reach a happier, healthier state of mind.
It’s time to create a new story line, what will yours be?