Why Do You Try So Hard?
By: Donna M.
I took and continue to take my job as a Mother seriously, I wanted to be the best that I could be. Now that my son's are adults it's a different playing field especially with my son who is in long term recovery. My son P.j. has a wife, a son and a life of his own. When my daughter - in -law was pregnant, when my Grandson was born and to this day I continue to go out of my way to help them out, to spend time with them and often times my feelings get hurt (unintentionally). When I attempt to discuss my feelings with my husband he always say's " Why do you try so hard"?. It's a funny thing, my husband does whatever he wants, when he wants, he doesn't go out of his way to make people happy or like him and most people love him. As for me when it comes to my family and sometimes friends and in my business, I can become a human pretzel, bending and twisting to make everyone happy.
When I stop and reflect I come to the conclusion that I want everyone to live up to my expectations, I want them to accept and appreciate me,the way I want them too, I want them to receive my unsolicited advice and most of all I want them to love me the way I want them to love me.
I am a codependent Mother and a people pleaser, I have to keep myself in check and ask myself on occasion . . . "Why Do I Try So Hard"?